How Do I Pick The Right Engagement Ring For My Partner?

(Part 2 of a series of 5.)


The Pressure To Pick the Right Engagement Ring the First Time

Deciding how and when to propose to your partner is hard enough. But it’s even harder to pick the right engagement ring for your partner. Considering most men haven’t spent much time jewellery shopping, I can see why many may find it all a bit overwhelming when they first discover how much information jewellery shopping can require.

Fortunately, there are ways around this. Over the years, I’ve gathered a few tricks which can help you figure out your partner’s ring size, and also make an informed guess as to the kind of ring styles she’d like (more on that in the next step).

The Obvious One – Engagement Ring Shopping With Your Partner

In spite of what other sites might tell you, if you wish to go shopping with your partner for a ring you should. It’s a lot easier to pick the right engagement ring when the person who is going to wear it is right there with you!

While this can seem to take some of the “surprise factor” out of the equation, bear in mind that you don’t have to present her the final ring when you propose. One common technique I recommend for men who want to play it safe is to simply propose with a “place holder” ring. This could come in any number of forms, depending on your personality and budget.

All of the following have been done by former clients or friends of mine in the past:

  • You present a basic plastic or silver ring
  • You present a ring box with a note inside saying what you want to say, along with “let’s get a ring together”
  • You present a Haribo gummy ring, or Ring Pop
  • You buy the real diamond, along with a wearable diamond holder, which is then presented along with the promise to get her input in making the final mount for that diamond.

How to Go About Figuring Out Your Partner’s Ring Size

To start with though, you’ll need to know her ring size. Here are some ideas to help you figure out the ring size if she’s not with you:

  1. Borrow one of the rings she wears on her ring finger and bring it with you for sizing.
  2. Try on one of the rings she wears on your finger, mark how far down your finger it goes, and then we’ll measure the size from there.
  3. Tie a string around her finger when she sleeps, cut it, and bring it in for measuring.
  4. Take her shopping for fashion jewellery, and make a note of the rings which fit her best. If the size doesn’t do lettered ring sizes (see below), then you might want to get the ring in question and bring it with you for sizing.

The Right Letter For Your Finger

Ring sizing varies by country, but in the UK we use letters of the alphabet for sizing ranging from A to Z+7. As an example, ladies rings in London typically vary between J and Q 1/2, whereas men’s sizes in London vary between M and V.

Elsewhere in the world they use numbers, but we can easily convert from one country’s sizing to another. So if you (or your partner) already know your ring size from here or another country, then that makes it easy!

Figuring Out Your Partner’s Personal Style

If your partner is involved in the process, this will be a snap. But if you’re trying to surprise them, it can be a bit more complicated. Here are some suggestions:

Start taking notes of the kinds of jewellery they wears or shapes and colours she likes most. Is she a golden girl, or more of a silver type? Does she wear a lot of red, or is blue have meaning for her? Does she have a favourite birthstone or other coloured gemstone? Do they like simple or traditional designs, or big dramatic pieces? Does she like frilly or geometric designs?

Does she like to show off? Then you can go big or sparkly. Is she not one for wearing much jewellery? Then perhaps something simple and elegant might be more suitable.

When in doubt, go shopping for watches in a jewellery store, and take note of the rings she spends time looking at when you’re at the watch counter.



Let’s face it- even deciding to propose to your partner is an emotional journey. Happily, the proposal itself can easily become a happy experience with a bit of planning and preparation. Tips like the ones we’ve listed above can be helpful in letting you know where to begin and can hopefully take some of the pressure off you when you go to pick the right engagement ring for your partner.

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